The Surprising Reason Men Always Choose Certain Women

The Surprising Reason Men Always Choose Certain Women

Tanya had been told she was “amazing”, “A great catch” “cool” and “total girlfriend material” by the men she’d dated…

But all their seemingly kind words just made her feel worse.
Because the cold, hard truth was:

No matter how great they SAID she was, they still weren’t CHOOSING her.
Which meant these men were either lying, or there was something else wrong with her: something so repulsive they couldn’t bring themselves to stay with her.

“It made me feel broken” she told us. “Why am I never enough for the men I really want?”
“I just want someone to choose me”

This question of what makes a man choose a certain woman while overlooking others has plagued women for as long as men and women have been getting together.

And science may finally have an answer.
According to new research published in the scientific journal, “Archives of Sexual Behavior”*, men don’t choose women for “logical reasons”.

As dating and relationship coach Clayton Max told us, “It’s not about checking all the boxes on a man’s list of what makes his ‘perfect girl’. And a woman can’t convince a man to want to be with her”

In fact, Max says, when a woman tries to convince a man, pressure him, or show him how amazing she is, it’s likely to backfire, since these behaviors signal the exact opposite of what makes a man absolutely sure a certain woman is it for him.

“The reality is” according to Max, “men choose women who do one thing and one thing only:
They choose women who make them feel the powerful emotion of INFATUATION”
Psychologists have discovered that infatuation comes from a primal drive deep within the brain…
And in men, it’s either on or it’s off.

When a man’s infatuation instinct is ON, it doesn’t matter if a woman has any of the qualities he’s been looking for.

She could be completely wrong for him, but he’ll make time for her. He’ll move cities for her. He’ll change careers for her.

Because the Infatuation Instinct literally TURNS OFF the part of a man’s brain concerned with anything other than making her his.

So how does a woman activate a man’s Infatuation Instinct… to make him so overwhelmed with desire for her he’s willing to do anything to show her how much he wants her?

Why Men Push Away Their Perfect Girl

Why Men Push Away Their Perfect Girl


When Holly met Colin 3 years ago, she thought they were perfect for each other. They had the same sense of humor and enjoyed the same movies and TV shows. They both wanted to start a family in the next few years.

They even had the same favorite childhood book — The Velveteen Rabbit — a sweet coincidence he often mentioned when people asked about their relationship.

So when he suddenly ended things one rainy October day, she was completely blindsided.
“I don’t understand what happened” she told us “He once told me that he’d made a list when he was younger of all the things he wanted in a partner, and that I’d checked off every last one. And just last month he was talking about taking singing lessons so he could serenade me at our wedding.”

Unfortunately, Holly’s story is all too common. According to dating and relationship expert Clayton Max, it’s not unusual for a man to pull away from a woman who seems perfect for him.

“What most women don’t realize,” Max said “is it doesn’t matter how good a woman is for a man ‘on paper’. She could check every box on his list, and he’ll still panic when it comes to taking the relationship deeper”

That’s because despite priding themselves on how logical and rational they are, Max says, “Men don’t choose a woman based on who’s the best logical choice for them. Instead, they choose the woman who makes them FEEL certain things.”
What things?

According to Max, men are naturally more scared of commitment than women are, but their brains also come pre-wired with a mechanism that overrides this fear with the right woman.

This mechanism is called The Infatuation Instinct, and when it’s activated, it literally shuts down the part of his brain that feels panicked. Suddenly his feelings of doubt disappear, he feels absolutely sure about the woman, and he’s willing to move mountains to be with her.

When choosing between a woman who makes sense for him and one who’s triggered his primal infatuation instinct, men will choose the one who’s triggered his infatuation instinct every single time.
So what are Max’s suggestions for a woman who wants a man to commit more deeply to her?

1. Accept the Reality

A big mistake women make, is wishing men were different than they are. But a man can no more control the feelings of panic he feels around commitment than a woman can control her feelings of wanting to commit.
In fact, when he feels judged for not being sure, it only adds to the anxiety and guilt he already feels, making him more likely to hit the ‘eject’ button sooner rather than later.
By accepting that this is just how men are wired, and not pressuring him, it gives you space to focus on what DOES make him sure — activating his infatuation instinct.

2. Don’t try to “convince” him

Most women fall into the trap of trying to be a man’s ‘dream girl’, by exhibiting all the ‘good girlfriend’ qualities, such as being a good listener, being loyal, attentive, generous, and passionate.

They’ll list out all the reasons they’re a good match, or they’ll simply try to figure out what qualities he wants in a woman, so they can display them when he’s around.

Either way, they’re trying to appeal to his ‘logical brain’, which in this case is not running the show.
Women will do this again and again, despite the fact that this approach almost never works, leaving them disappointed, and angry when he ends up choosing a woman who has almost none of the qualities he says he wants.

3. Focus on activating his infatuation instinct

The only surefire way of getting a man to commit with his whole heart, so he’s absolutely sure a woman is the one for him, is to activate his infatuation instinct.

A man’s infatuation instinct is turned on by very specific qualities in a woman. Things like curiosity, boundaries, and uncertainty, which stir a sense of excitement and a desire to chase.

While many women will try to show a man how devoted they are to him in the hope that this will make him feel safe enough to open his hear, this more often than not just adds to the pressure he feels, since at this stage, he’s more afraid of losing his freedom than losing her.

For more information on how to activate a man’s infatuation instinct, including exact scripts that do exactly that, watch this free video presentation.

In it, you’ll learn about the ‘emotional tripwire’, which puts a man in infatuation mode, without him realizing why.

Top 3 Ways To Make Him Love You Like Crazy

Top 3 Ways To Make Him Love You Like Crazy

Do you find yourself falling hard for that special guy? Is your heart just full of love and affection for him, but don’t know how to show it?
Maybe you’re worried that he might find you too intense and back off, or you’re worried that he might fall into someone else’s arms.
Whatever the case may be, I got 5 awesome ways to make him feel an intense, burning desire for you.

#1. Work Your Way Into His Life

Most women assume that guys want to sleep with a girl as fast as they can. But in my own experience, I found that you’re more likely to pull him in by being friends with him.

I know that sounds scary because this might get you banished into the Friend Zone. But the idea here is to not hop in the sack with him right away and draw it out a bit.

Believe it or not, many guys love the sweet torture of a “slow burn”.
If you play it right, you can keep up this dance until his desire reaches a point where he can’t stand being ‘just friends’ with you.

He’ll want to take things to the next level.


#2. Win Him Over With Words

A good relationship happens when a couple has the habit of communicating in a gentle, loving way.
Of course, in the real world, this isn’t always the case, especially when they get into a disagreement.
But for the most part, a relationship thrives when there are more words of affirmation than hostility or criticism.

That’s why a guy is more likely to respond positively to a woman who recognizes his strengths and celebrates them through words of affirmation.

For example, you can compliment him on how great he looks on his new shirt, or even just the way he remembers all that Star Wars trivia.

Whatever qualities that you love about him, make sure to acknowledge that and point it out to him.


#3. Use The Right Body Language

Have you ever noticed how some couples just seem to complement each other? I’m talking about the way they finish each other’s sentences or already know what the other is thinking without saying a single word.
You can see this common quality in happy couples, whether it’s your best friend and her husband or your 90-year old grandparents’. They just seem to connect on a deep, unspoken level.

In order to emulate that quality and set the stage for you and your guy, you can start with body language.
Of course, a long-term relationship requires you to develop a bond through shared experiences and the like. But matching his facial expressions, for instance, is a great way to lay down the foundations.

For example, if you’re out on a date with him and he’s having a good time, he’s likely to have a happy, satisfied expression on his gorgeous face.

What you can do is match the brightness of his smile and instantly, that will allow you to create an emotional connection with him. It’s nothing short of magical, and it will certainly feel that way.

When you start doing these things today, you can start putting your relationship on a better path. Treat these as habits you can adopt into your daily routine, like making deposits in a bank.

Pretty soon, your relationship will be rich with love and you’ll have plenty of it to go around for years to come.
But did you know that you can also say a few select phrases to a guy and make him instantly fall in love with you even HARDER? It sounds crazy, but there’s a combination of words that can literally change a man’s emotional state and generate red-hot feelings of passion for you.

The truth is that it’s based on an obscure psychological principle. Any woman can apply this through a combination of certain words that will create a powerful effect on the way he thinks about you.
It’s almost like re-wiring his brain so that he can’t imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else but you. Honestly, it’s a level of devotion that’s almost scary.

If you’re ready for this kind of commitment, however, you can learn the secrets to this technique right here:

5 Habits That Men Routinely Fall In Love With

5 Habits That Men Routinely Fall In Love With


A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.” ― Coco Chanel
Whether you’re looking for a long-term partner, or already have one, it pays to have the right habits in a relationship.

The thing about guys is that they don’t always know how to articulate what they want in their woman.
Most men weren’t exactly taught how to express their feelings while growing up. So it can be tricky sometimes for them to let their partner know about their emotional and physical needs.
And this leads to all sorts of misunderstandings and unfulfilled expectations, which can put a wedge between you two.

Luckily, I’m here to give you the inside track to how men think. Drawing from my own experience and from helping my clients, here are the Top 5 Habits That Make Men Crazy About You:

#1: Play Hard to Get

Ok, this might sound like familiar territory, but listen up.
Typically, a lot of women (and men!) try to make someone like them by putting on a detached-but-I-might-be-attracted-to-you kind of act.

Also, these women may wait for an arbitrary amount of time to reply to messages (e.g., a couple of hours, a few days, etc.) to avoid looking desperate. Worse, they’ll pretend they’re busy, hoping it’ll make a guy more interested in them.

But this approach tends to backfire.
It’s confusing - and worse, he’ll eventually see through this stilted act. This, of course, is a huge turn-off.
There’s no problem showing interest in a guy. And there’s no need in this day and age to play silly mind games.

Instead, you can play a different kind of game – one built on authenticity.
Give your guy hints that you like him, and be enthusiastic when you’re together. Experts find that a person starts falling in love with someone once they knew they wanted them.
As for the “playing hard to get” part, that means actually being busy. That’s not the empty kind of busy where you’re at home, scrolling down endlessly on your social media feed.
It’s better to be fully engaged with all the other parts of your life. You’ve got your work, social life, hobbies and other passions that make you well-rounded and happy.

If that makes you unavailable from time to time, that’s a good thing.
Richard Wiseman, author of “59 Seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute”, did some research on this.
He found that people who were hard to get gave the impression that they’re a scarce resource. However, they ALSO had to be enthusiastic about the other person to be attractive.
That way, it put the subject in a more balanced and attractive light.


#2: Rock His World

In a nutshell, you need to generate strong emotions within your guy while he’s with you. He’ll then associate those feelings with you, which naturally creates that spark.
In an MIT study, behavioral researchers found that people have a habit of transferring their feelings from one setting to the next.
What does this mean?
For instance, if you nearly hit another car while driving to work, you’d carry those negative vibes into the office. That previous, unrelated experience would bleed into the rest of your day.
Some call this “emotional misattribution” or “emotional leakage” - this is the human tendency to attach strong feelings to the nearest person, even if they had little to do with it.
Also, it has to do with the fact that being physically aroused can easily translate into a sexual attraction. So, if you can find a way to keep things exciting for him – like doing sports or something physically intensive – then he’ll latch those feelings onto you.

#3: Laugh at His Jokes

Admittedly, a lot of women reacted to this piece of advice with a raised eyebrow.
But hear me out – this could be a game-changer in your relationship.
First of all, you don’t need to be rolling on the floor with tears in your eyes if his jokes bombed.
A polite chuckle is perfectly fine, and that gives him the hint that he’s not funny (i.e. you’re not attracted to him).

But if your funny bone really is tingling from his witty one-liners, then go ahead and laugh.
Studies show that humor is a huge factor in sexual attraction. As you already know, women like guys who are funny because it’s a sign of intelligence (which is an attractive trait).
But recent research done by Westfield State College, University of Western Ontario, and McMaster University state that "men preferred those who were receptive to their own humor, particularly for sexual relationships.”

This seems like it’s not so much about treating a guy’s ego with kid gloves…
…and more to do with a man’s desired to be appreciated by his partner.
Trust me, I know plenty of guys who have appreciation as one of their “must haves” in a relationship. So, appreciating his sense of humor is a good step in that direction.


#4: Find Strength in Numbers

According to several studies, you can be more attractive by hanging out with your friends.
For instance, there’s research from Tilburg University in the Netherlands and the University of California that both document what’s known as the “cheerleader effect.”

This basically states that someone’s perception of you changes favorable once you’re in a group.
On the surface, you might think it’s because you’ll appear more sociable and friendly. This makes you attractive without looking like you’re trying too hard.

But there’s another angle to it. You see, the human brain has a habit of categorizing individual elements (like shapes, objects and people) into a general group.

This is mostly a hardwired survival trait to not visually focus too hard on one thing - but rather the whole picture. And this instinct spills over into a person’s social life as well.

So in a practical sense, you can set your social media (and online dating) profile picture to a photo featuring you with a group of friends. Just make sure it’s clear who you are in the picture so you don’t get lost in the sea of faces!

If you’re looking to a meet a guy in a bar or a party, make sure to bring your squad along too. Social proofing is a real phenomenon, so use it to your advantage.

#5: Appeal to His Sensual Side

There’s really no surprise here. Any guy who’s interested in women will obviously want physical intimacy in the relationship.

But you’d be surprised – and even downright concerned – how many women are lacking this department.
A lot of them take for granted the power of using their feminine charm to win a guy over.
And no, I’m not telling you to start acting out a scene from an adult film to turn a guy on.
What I am saying is that you should be more aware of a guy’s hot buttons, and learn how to push them.
For instance, women underestimate the power of physical touch.

Most men go their whole lives not knowing the pure pleasure of a validating pat on the back, a hug, or other forms of affection.

Women, on the other hand, tend to experience this on a daily basis.
So using body language is an excellent way to ignite his senses – whether it’s brushing against his arm or leg against yours “accidentally”…

…or putting your hand on his arm for a few precious seconds.
Remember, men love being teased, and the delicious pleasure of the “slow burn.”
And of course, men also appreciate variety when it comes to the main event in bed. Make an effort and take the initiative to spice things up every now and then.

Better yet, you could even go as far as asking him what he wants, then apply it in bed after (with your consent, of course). That would make for an interesting topic, don't you think?
One more thing - there’s another trait I didn’t mention earlier, but it’s incredibly attractive to men as well.
A study done at Rutgers University found a unique psychological trait in guys that they’ve dubbed as an “emotional tripwire.”

Now, once you understand how this works – and how to use it (which is super easy by the way)…
…your guy will instantly enter a state of intense infatuation.
It’s like a splinter in his mind, and he’ll be incapable of thinking of any other women in a romantic way – except YOU.

There’s a free video presentation that explains this in SHOCKING detail, so make sure you’re sitting down before watching it: